Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
