Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
