I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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