eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
