and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
