make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
