Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
