your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
