Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
