thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You're breaking my sexual little heart
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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