Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i dont even know how to be here
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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