do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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