he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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