I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
