just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
