At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
