We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
