It's just like the Real World with babies
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They took my balls.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I love you. Go after that dick
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
