:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
