So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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