We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Only a mothe r could love this liver
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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