I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
