im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
