All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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