Just fell off a train. Bad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
