i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
