I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
