i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
