Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
