I feel like abortions should bother me more
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
