Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
