It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My vagina is officially offended.
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