I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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