Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
