Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You are a genius and a whore.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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