dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
