I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
