It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
