that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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