i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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