Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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