I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
