i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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