who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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