I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
