but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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