I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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