So drunk its hurt
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
