it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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