High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
