im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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